Good-bye Sweet Babe

I debated whether to post this. But for myself, I have to. I am in denial and I keep wanting to sweep this under the rug and not think about it. But I am going to look it straight in the face and say Good-bye.


We lost our baby. I am supposed to be 11 weeks today. The baby died at 8 weeks. We say good-bye tomorrow.



We mourn the dream of who this baby could have been. We mourn the "plan" of having kids 4 years apart, we mourn our loss of control, we mourn our sense of security in pregnancy, we mourn the loss of joy, we mourn the loss of OUR child. We mourn the fact that this loss affects our son who was so looking forward to being a big brother and who has a baby in his tummy. We mourn the fact that he has to learn a very hard lesson at such a young age. We mourn the fact that our loved ones have also suffered a loss. We mourn the time that was "wasted" with a pregnancy that never truly came into fruition.



Maybe I shouldn't be posting this, maybe its too private to share? But I need this, I need this for me. I took some darling photos of my boys in their "Big Brother" t-shirts. I love this picture so much, I am so sad that I am not sharing it with you all to "break" our exciting news, but rather sharing it to "break" to you our very sad news.

Good-bye baby. May you find peace and joy in the arms of your Heavenly Father and we will excitedly meet you someday. We loved you, if only for a short time.

Tomorrow we will say good-bye and I will move on, because I have to. But it doesn't make the pain hurt any less.

My sweet, sweet, babies. My boys, my loves.

Sunday, Sunndaaaaaaaaaay

What did we do today?

We swam, we floated and we basked. We ate copious amounts of chips and salsa from On the Border....

and we drank pina coladas.

Yup, even this guy! ;-P

Eastons "house"

Boppy made Easton a "house" the other day while he was babysitting (Yes, my dad BABYSAT, I never thought I'd see the day, but I swear he would NEVER EVER turn down a chance to spend time with his best buddy!!!!)

(Oh and by the way, thanks to good 'ole Boppy, Easton tells everyone his middle name is, "Danger!") Thanks for that Boppy!

What we've been up to (it involves a lot of water, of course!)

Doing what he loves most - swimming! He's a fish!

Easton and Mimi.

Boppy striking a pose. What a ham!

My parents bought a new outdoor furniture set so as my dad was taking it all out of the boxes, he decided to make Easton a "house". I showed up to pick up my little Toe after they had watched him for me for a little bit and he had already taken up residence in the driveway! Hee hee!

He was quite proud of his humble abode!

Look at the windows! So much fresh air and light in the house! :-)

Playing "secret lair" with Daddy and Uncle Kolby

Daddy giving Easton a "turtle ride"

Easton's first sailboat ride, he loved it!

Easton playing games with Bentley. He ties the dogs' favorite toy to his lawn mower and runs around with it, they will inevitably chase him because they want their toy. He laughs and shrieks in pure ecstasy because he LOVES being chased!

Ryan's officemate, Amy, had the whole staff and families over to her house for a pool party this week. Easton got to try out using swimmies - he hated them and wanted his life jacket ;-P

Easton playing with his new best bud, Aiden!

"Touchdown!" He yells out as he makes a basket. Haha! Hard to correct him when he's so excited!

Summer Fun!

Summer fun in the sun! Anyone who knows us, knows that we spend every beautiful day during the summer - at the lake! This summer hasn't been particularly warm or sunny, but we have taken advantage of what nice days we've had so far!

The boys and pups taking a swim!

He LOVES going up and down the ladder all by himself! He's a big boy now, don't ya know?


Big kid!

He's so happy to be swimmin'!

Fun swimmin' with daddy!

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to me! Ha!




My Sweet boy, you make my heart go pitter patter. I am so thankful for the day you made me a mommy. The joy that you bring to my heart is incomprehensible. You are my reason for living, for breathing. Your giggles and smiles, your "Shirley Temple" personality and those curls, oh Easton, those CURLS. It all, every single piece of you, makes my heart melt into a puddle of goo. You have us ALL wrapped around your finger. We live for you, to make you happy - really, truly.None of us can get enough of you to satisfy our own selfish desires to just have "one more minute" of "Toe Time". You are our buddy, our love. Your daddy and I are so proud of you. Your Mimi and Boppy want to just eat you up and Ritzy, well, he wants to smother you with kisses of course!

Mother's Day is not about me little boy. It is about you and what YOU have done to ME! With you, I understand a mother's love, I understand my own mother's love and I hope I do HER justice through raising YOU because she is the greatest mother ever, she truly is, I will never be as good as her, but Easton, I will always try and I hope that someday you will say the same thing about me. I love you Bubba.

Mommy.

Tea Time for All!

The Saturday before Easter was a big day for Easton with his egg hunt and then a special tea party birthday for his friend, Avery! Poor Easton is the lone boy is this group of girls (poor Easton, or lucky Easton!?!?!) but he certainly handles his own among all the women!

The tea party was DARLING! Avery's mommy, Vanessa, did such a great job! There was a huge table in the dining room with lots of goodies like tea sandwiches and desserts, it was darling and the special table for the kids to enjoy their tea was a hoot! And the hats for the girls and bowtie for Easton, that were a blast! Vanessa is awfully creative! The kids were so good with their tea and acted so refined - it was adorable to watch!

Tea time for all!

Addie & Easton (look at that darling bowtie Vanessa made!)

Making sure to be careful!

Mason-man trying to get in on the action (okay, so Easton isn't the ONLY boy, but he's the only BIG boy!) :-)

We need to teach Easton cell phone etiquette apparently! :-P